Just for laughs: Part -I

# WASHINGTON POST ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE. 

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, 
Marrying you screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming. 
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; 
This describes everything you are not.
4. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
5. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.

Damn, I'm good at telling Lies.
6. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts tequila, one part lime !!
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# A lot of ladies used to sit together every evening in 
a park and talk non stop. One day they were sitting very 
very quietly. A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group every day was surprised to see them all so quiet.
He inquired about this to which they replied, "You see, 
today we are ALL present, so we don't know who to 
gossip about." Ladies :D


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# Preeto began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a sardar boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Preeto approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Preeto noticed the sardar boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Preeto said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" Junior Santa hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Preeto then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," Junior Santa said with great exasperation, "I'm the f***ing goalkeeper."

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# A law student failed and decided to make a deal with the professor. 

Student: Sir, do you know everything about law?
Prof.: Yes
Student: Ok. If you can answer this question, I will accept my marks as final, but, if you can't answer, you will have to give me an "A". Professor agreed.
Student: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal and neither logical nor legal?
The professor pondered for hours without an answer. He had to finally give "A" to the student.
The following day the professor asked the same question to his students. He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student to answer.
He said: Sir, you're 65 married to a 28 year old, this is legal but not logical. Your wife is having an affair with a 23 year old, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend had failed in his exams and yet you gave him "A" grade. It's neither logical nor legal.;-)

The professor collapsed :-D

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# When her late husband's will was read, a widow learnt he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman.

Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse's tombstone.
"Sorry, lady," said the stone cutter. "I inscribed 'Rest in Peace' on your orders. I can't change it now."
"Very well," she said grimly. "Just add, 'Until We Meet Again'." 

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# The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

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Courtesy - Sathish Pathak, FB :)